Final days (part one)

Senior year is nearing its end. We, students in our last year in Pangasinan National High School, are getting ready for one final event--graduation. No more assignments, hard-to-accomplish projects and long and boring examinations. We will finally say goodbye to our teachers who made us feel either happy or, well, bored.

For four years in high school, there was competition. Competition for the top position in class. And, yes, this competition has just ended.

Being in the highest section of the regular class, I have been involved in the competition. I did my best to obtain a good result. I strived hard to get my desired position in class. I worked hard to fulfill everyone's high expectations.

But it seemed that my perseverance was not enough. My hard work was not enough. Did I lack something?

Our general averages were released. Claudine Enduma, our former top two in class, ranked first in academics. I ranked second. Of course, for a former top one like me, it was a sad outcome. But I did not lose hope.

March 10, 2009. Deliberation. Each student in the top sixteen had a compilation of certifications from the co-curricular activities he/she joined. I had mine. The deliberation was the final battle. The very final competition. I admit, knowing that I joined a number of activities and contests, right on that day, I was hoping that I could still be the Valedictorian.

You cannot blame me if up to the last minute of the game, I've still had that desire. When I was in my sophomore year, I strived hard to be the top one. I succeeded. And so it would not be that easy to just give up the desire of becoming the Valedictorian.

There came the result of the deliberation. In the co-curricular activities, I ranked first. Claudine, second. But, still, it was not satisfying. Being the first in academics, Claudine had to be fourth (or lower) in co-curricular activities for me to become the Valedictorian. But it did not turn out to be that way.

So, yes. The result: Claudine is the Valedictorian; I am the Salutatorian. There's a certain part of me that says that I am sad. But I prefer to be happy...both for Claudine and for myself.

Now, there is one more question to be answered and I know that you have this in mind: Can I accept with all my heart that I am not the Valedictorian?

Forgive me, but I will leave that query hanging in the air for now.

(To be continued)